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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288196">I held a jewel in my fingers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus'>5ftjewishcactus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Cheek Kisses, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Couch Cuddles, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Head scratches, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Sharing a Bed, hand holding, physical affection</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:08:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the not end of the world, Aziraphale and Crowley learn how to share physical affection and non-sexual intimacy now that they are free to be together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ineffable Wives Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I held a jewel in my fingers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolalienbee/gifts">smolalienbee</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the Ineffable Wives Exchange. My recipient is SmolAlienBee who wanted soft ace wives learning physical affection together. I hope I was able to deliver.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a slow thing. Not something they could easily overcome in a single night. Baby steps, Crowley had said, like when they’d been raising Warlock and teaching him how to walk and talk in those early years. Aziraphale thought she understood. Like the night the world didn’t end. The night when they’d held hands while riding the bus back from Tadfield. Aziraphale had been the one to reach out then. They were going back to London. Going to Crowley’s flat. Someplace Aziraphale had never been. Not to the bookshop that had been her home for two hundred years. It was gone, burned down. She didn’t want to see what remained. Crowley had assured her the bus would take them straight to Mayfair. Avoid Soho all together. </p>
<p>She’d swallowed and reached out her hand, as she’d sat down in the seat next to Crowley’s on the bus. She needed something to hold onto. Someone to hold onto her, in return. Crowley’s hand had been warm and soft in her hand, as she’d linked their fingers together. The silence between them had been comforting, the two of them sitting together. Hand in hand. Thighs and shoulders touching where they were pressed up against each other. As the bus had carried them to Mayfair, Crowley had leaned her head on Aziraphale’s shoulder. Another little touch between them. Another offer of comfort. </p>
<p>And again when they reached Crowley’s flat. As they’d walked hand in hand up to the flat, there seemed to be some unspoken agreement between them that they weren’t ready to let go of each other. Not yet. So they’d entered the flat and headed straight for Crowley’s bedroom. It was late and they’d both had a very long day. They’d laid down on the bed, Aziraphale on the right; Crowley on the left, facing each other with their hands still linked. Aziraphale had told Crowley to sleep, she would stay awake and protect them, so Crowley could dream of whatever she liked best. </p>
<p>“I like you best,” Crowley had mumbled as she’d drifted off to sleep, squeezing Aziraphale’s hand once. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>It was another day, another moment between them where Aziraphale thought she might be brave enough to reach out for more. They were sitting in the back room of the bookshop and Crowley was stretched out on the couch, scrolling through her phone, while Aziraphale sat in her chair, reading one of her books. The angel glanced at the demon, her demon, and had the thought that she wanted to be closer. So she closed her book and stood. </p>
<p>“Bunch up,” she said, moving to stand by the couch. </p>
<p>Crowley glanced up at her, but easily shifted to sit up so Aziraphale could join her. Aziraphale sat down where Crowley’s legs had been stretched out and wiggled happily, before opening her book again. After a few moments, Crowley relaxed and stretched her legs back out, sticking her toes under Aziraphale’s thigh. The angel smiled and simply pat Crowley’s legs, without looking up from her book. </p>
<p>They sat together like that for several hours, both engrossed in their own activities, but happy to be there together. </p>
<p>“Angel,” Crowley said, several hours later.</p>
<p>Aziraphale glanced over at her, over the top of her book. </p>
<p>“Dinner?” Crowley asked, holding up her phone with a shake. “Can order anything you like. Or we can go anywhere if you want.”</p>
<p>“Oh, well there is that Italian restaurant down the street. Perhaps we could walk there.”</p>
<p>“Sounds perfect.”</p>
<p>Crowley swung her legs off the couch and stood. She held out her hand to Aziraphale, who set her book down and gladly accepted, placing her hand in Crowley’s. The demon helped her to stand up. They stood there a moment, holding hands in the middle of the backroom. Reluctantly, Crowley let go so Aziraphale could change out of her sweater and into her coat, so they could head out of the shop. </p>
<p>Bookshop door shut and locked behind them, they began to walk towards the restaurant. As they reached a cross street, Aziraphale reached over and held out her hand. Crowley’s hands were tucked into her pockets, but she spotted Aziraphale’s hand and reached out to accept. They held hands the rest of the walk, fingers linked. It made Aziraphale feel giddy. All those years keeping each other at arm’s length and they were finally free. They could go out in public together, hand in hand. No more hiding. No more secrets. No more pretending they didn’t know each other. This is what they’d fought for, that day in Tadfield. The ability to be together, finally. </p>
<p>She gave Crowley’s hand a squeeze and Crowley squeezed back. Silently saying to each other, “I’m here” and “I’m here too.” </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>A few days later, they sat together in Crowley’s flat, watching The Golden Girls reruns on the telly. Aziraphale found she quite liked the show, Dorothy was her favorite so far. At some point during the afternoon, Crowley had slouched down and her head was resting against the back of the couch. Aziraphale glanced over at her and feeling brave, she reached her arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, until Crowley’s head rested on her shoulder. </p>
<p>“This okay?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Crowley replied. “Is perfect, angel.”</p>
<p>She nuzzled her cheek against the warmth of Aziraphale’s sweater. Aziraphale smiled and gently rested her head atop Crowley’s and sighed contentedly. </p>
<p>“I’m glad I came over,” Aziraphale whispered. </p>
<p>“Me too.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale had designed the bookshop to be her home, to be her place on Earth, but she’d also designed it as a safe haven for her and Crowley. And while she still adored her bookshop and all her prized books, she appreciated the ability to spend time with Crowley in her flat, too. They had earned the freedom to be here together. And Aziraphale didn’t want to ever take that for granted. She cherished every moment she was allowed to spent with Crowley. Every moment she could touch her, hold her, love her. </p>
<p>That was another thing they hadn’t done yet. But again, baby steps. They had time now. Aziraphale was basking in their ability to be close, to touch, to hold, letting her actions speak for the love she felt. Her fingers curled into Crowley’s hair at the nape of her neck. She’d cut her hair short before the end of the world, separate herself from Ms. Harrison. But now it had been a few weeks since the world hadn’t ended and the strands were starting to grow out and curl a bit. Aziraphale had always adored Crowley’s hair. The red was such a lovely color, a nice contrast against her pale skin. It always looked so soft and when it was allowed to grow out, curled ever so nicely. Aziraphale had wondered if it felt as soft as it looked and it turned out it did. </p>
<p>Crowley hummed as Aziraphale’s fingers moved upwards and began to scratch lightly at Crowley’s scalp. Aziraphale grinned, pleased at the discovery of how much the demon enjoyed physical touch like this. Aziraphale liked it too. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>A month and a few days after the failed apocalypse, Aziraphale was sitting up in Crowley’s room, her book opened on her lap as she waited for Crowley to come to bed. She still didn’t sleep but she’d taken to sitting up with a book or two while Crowley slept. Another way for them to be close, to be together. Crowley shuffled into the bedroom in her silk pyjamas and crawled under the covers. Aziraphale continued to read as Crowley attempted to settle in, to sleep. She tossed and turned a few times, huffing when she couldn’t get comfortable. She sat up and punched at her pillow.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, dear?” Aziraphale asked, shifting her attention from her book to the demon. </p>
<p>“Can’t get comfortable,” Crowley mumbled, as she flopped back down on the bed. </p>
<p>Aziraphale closed her book and set it aside a moment. </p>
<p>“Come here,” she said, patting her lap. </p>
<p>Crowley looked up at her, yellow eyes wide. </p>
<p>“If you’d like, that is.”</p>
<p>Crowley nodded and shifted closer until she could rest her on Aziraphale’s lap. Aziraphale gently placed her hand on Crowley’s head and began stroking her hair. After several minutes, Crowley visibly relaxed and closed her eyes. She hummed again and Aziraphale lightly ran her fingernails across her scalp. Only a few more minutes passed before she was sound asleep. </p>
<p>Aziraphale kept one hand on her head, combing through her hair, while she picked up her book with the other and continued reading while her beloved slept. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>It was a quiet and rainy afternoon in the bookshop. Aziraphale and Crowley were curled up in the backroom. Aziraphale was sitting and Crowley was lying down her head on Aziraphale’s lap. Aziraphale read quietly from a book of poetry from the 1800s. Crowley had slept through most of the 19th century and they’d barely had a chance to spend any time together before their fight over the holy water. It wasn’t something they spoke about, nothing had been said between 1862 and 1967. The only thing that had come up was Crowley telling Aziraphale she’d used the holy water on Ligur after they’d returned to her flat the night the world didn’t end. </p>
<p>After being taken to Hell and facing her worst fear, Aziraphale didn’t want to discuss it anymore. They were free from Heaven and Hell. And if they needed to protect themselves for any reason, well they had each other. And that matter more to Aziraphale than all the holy water in the world. </p>
<p>So, while they avoided that specific topic, they found other topics from that century to discuss. Poetry and flower language and fashion. All the things Aziraphale adored about the 19th century that she’d longed to share with Crowley back then. </p>
<p>‘I held a jewel in my fingers<br/>And went to sleep<br/>The day was warm, and winds were prosy<br/>I said, "Twill keep"</p>
<p>I woke - and chide my honest fingers,<br/>The Gem was gone<br/>And now, an Amethyst remembrance<br/>Is all I own’</p>
<p>As Aziraphale finished reading, Crowley reached up to gently hold the hand she was using to comb through Crowley’s hair and brought it down. Aziraphale glanced over as Crowley pressed a kiss against her palm. Aziraphale’s breathe caught, as Crowley’s golden eyes stared up at her, a small smile on her lips. </p>
<p>“Crowley,” she whispered. </p>
<p>Crowley hummed in response and held Aziraphale’s palm to her chest, right over her heart. Aziraphale nodded with a small smile of her own and continued her reading. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Six months after the world didn’t end, Aziraphale was in the bookshop doing some inventory while ignoring customers. She was aware of the two customers in the shop, to ensure they did not actively harm her books, but ignoring them if they gave any indication that they wanted help or to make a purchase. As she continued to work, the bell above the door rang and Aziraphale prepared herself for another customer in her shop. But instead, a familiar presence greeted her. </p>
<p>“Hello, angel.” Crowley sauntered over to Aziraphale and held out a bag from the nearby pastry shop Aziraphale adored. “Picked up your favorite. Blueberry muffin.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale grinned and took the bag from Crowley. “Oh thank you, dearest.” She leaned in and kissed Crowley on the cheek. </p>
<p>Crowley ducked her head down as she blushed. “It’s nothing. Was on my way.”</p>
<p>She tried to shrug it off as she made her way towards the backroom, but Aziraphale could see the smile on her face, knowing that she’d done it specifically to make Aziraphale happy. It warmed Aziraphale’s heart, that after all this time, Crowley would still do little things for Aziraphale just because she wanted to do something nice. </p>
<p>Aziraphale glanced at her watch and moved to the cash register. “Shop’s closing early today. Five-minute warning!”</p>
<p>She waited while the few customers finished up their browsing and quietly left the shop, only one of them attempting to purchase a book (and one that Aziraphale found she was okay with parting, as it had been one of Adam’s additions.) Once all the customers were gone, she closed and locked the door and turned the sign to closed.</p>
<p>Crowley was stretched out on the couch in the backroom when Aziraphale finally joined her. Without being told, Crowley moved her legs to Aziraphale could sit down on the couch with her. Once Aziraphale was seated, Crowley stretched out her legs again, resting her feet on Aziraphale’s lap. Aziraphale smiled at her and pulled out the muffin from the bag. </p>
<p>“Thank you again, dear heart,” she said, staring excitedly at the muffin. </p>
<p>Crowley made several disconnected sounds in response to the term of endearment, as another blush covered her cheeks. Aziraphale had found that she quite liked using several terms about Crowley and Crowley’s responses to them always amused her. Aziraphale nibbled her treat, while Crowley turned her focus to her phone, trying to hide away her blush behind the screen. </p>
<p>Once Aziraphale was done eating, she grabbed one of the books she’d been reading and opened it up again. They sat together in silence, the way they usually did these days. There wasn’t a need to fill the silence between them. A little while later, Crowley tucked her phone away and sat up, pulling her feet off Aziraphale’s lap. Aziraphale glanced at her and Crowley moved to kneel on the couch and carefully scooted towards Aziraphale. She looked at the angel, her eyes bare and looking at Aziraphale with such hope in them. Aziraphale nodded and held out her arm. Crowley curled into the spot next to her, leaning into Aziraphale’s side and resting her head on her shoulder. Aziraphale wrapped her arm around her shoulders and held her close. </p>
<p>Slowly and carefully over the months since the world hadn’t ended, they’d become closer. And while they still had a few more moments to reach, a few more areas to cross, they’d made the babies steps towards being open and vulnerable with each other. Giving and providing physical affection with each other. Open to and willing to sit together and hold each other. And Aziraphale was proud of them. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can follow me on tumblr <a href="https://5ftjewishcactus.tumblr.com/">@5ftjewishcactus</a> or on twitter on my main <a href="https://twitter.com/5ftjewishcatus">@5ftjewishcactus</a> or on my sfw gen fandom <a href="https://twitter.com/2ambiace">@2ambiace</a> or my dbh <a href="https://twitter.com/asexualhankcon">@asexualhankcon</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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